Susan "Honey" Good
5 min readSep 24


Self-confidence cannot be bottled. Wouldn’t it be marvelous if a woman could purchase a bottle of confidence? It would be her personal elixir to spritz on when she felt the desire to speak out but lacked self-confidence.

I believe the most radiant woman in the room is the woman who is full of life and experience. A woman’s smile, in my opinion, is her best cosmetic. And, it costs nothing! So, smile, darling, smile. People will gravitate to you. A smile is alluring to even the most sullen person.

I know a woman who wears a million-dollar smile. When I see her in a crowd I rush up because I want to spend time with her. What intrigues me about her is her allure.

Read here to know what to take and what to leave when stepping into the next version of you. And when it comes to building self-confidence, I say make it a goal of yours. Read my concrete steps on how to turn wishes to reality after 50.

What I’ve Learned From My Friend on How to Improve Self-Confidence

I wonder what’s her secret? She is not wealthy. Her clothes are plain. She is not willowy. I would say that she does not have what most of society would consider to be a beautiful body. She is not young. She is not especially intellectual. How does she stay so pleasant? Is she on Prozac?

One day I opened my Facebook page and there she was — standing and smiling in her garden. It was one of the most beautiful gardens I had ever seen. It was so beautiful I felt my whole body relax and I smiled from ear to ear.

She kept appearing on my page with photo after photo. I saw her large family. There are photos of her preparing food in her kitchen for her gang. I saw several family members around the table, all smiling.

Therefore, I have come to the conclusion that she has a deep spiritual connection with nature and a deep love of family.

She is filled with self-confidence and self-esteem.

The Difference Between Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem

I believe there is confusion between self-esteem and self-confidence. Self-esteem is closely connected to your relationship with your first critics, your parents, and close relatives. If you were showered with unconditional love and approved by them you are apt to have high self-esteem.

I believe that my friend has arrived at an inner awareness — that just living and loving it all is her allure.

Self-Confidence is Not a Gift From Others

Self-confidence is not a gift from others. It is a gift you give yourself when you choose a course of action that turns out to be very effective. Eleanor Roosevelt said, “You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”

“Listen to your heart, it knows.” — Honey Good

When you persist and meet success with a new project, you experience an exuberant feeling of joy. You are proud of yourself and you may not have trusted your ability because it was new but you went for it, you aspired, and met success. So remember your action to take action; to aspire is as important as the result of your achievement.

A Few Tips On How To Improve Self-Confidence

A self-confident person is not always the best event planner, chef, salesperson, or athlete who climbed Mount Everest. These individuals took time to perfect a skill. They aspired. They worked hard and under their professional umbrellas, they are confident. And, they have a good head start but there is much more that goes into the making of a self-confident woman.

I have noticed that a self-confident woman senses her working capital. And, I am not talking about money. Her capital is based on her positive experiences. But I wonder if she takes the time to note her self-worth? Does she realize her many small accomplishments that are worthwhile? Does she notice that amazing women choose to be her friend?

I wonder if she notices her warmth and loving ways attract even the check-out lady in the market? Does she notice how her children respect her? Or does she note that people of all ages ask her for her opinion?

If you are that woman, start noticing right now and become aware of the woman you are, and begin to feel your worthiness.

Edit Your Lifestyle

It is important that you succeed at things that matter to you. In other words, eliminate from your life what is not beneficial to you. Edit your lifestyle and decide what you want your life to look like. You have created your new purpose. All you have to do is what Eleanor Roosevelt said, “You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”

If this sounds like something you now realize you should embark on, download my free goal planner, I’ll show you how to get there, darlings!

Yesterday my granddaughter texted me. She has a new beau. She told me about him and ended by saying, “I am afraid I will make another mistake because I made two bad choices.” I texted her back and said, “I can solve your problem for you! Listen to your heart, it knows.”

As she begins to listen to her heart and finds fulfillment, her belief in her actions will return. She is now at the beginning of a marvelous journey!

Listen to Your Heart When Working Towards Confidence

Later that day I was with another young woman who had been with someone a long time. She wants to meet someone but she told me she is afraid because she is a bad picker. I told her the same thing I told my granddaughter: Listen to your heart, it knows.

How many of us have not listened to our hearts? I imagine all of you, and I, of course, include myself in that as well. Now, I listen and act. I must tell you that my little heart has served me well. It has never led me astray. And, it will not lead you astray either.

Are you taking a look at your lifestyle and analyzing whether it is working for you? It may be that what you planned and worked toward, no longer suits you. Endeavors that you used to enjoy no longer pique your fancy. Step confidently towards something new that makes your heart sing.

What are some of your tips to improve self-confidence? Please share them in the comments at the bottom of this page. We can all help each other!

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Originally published at on September 24, 2023.



Susan "Honey" Good

A Modern Matriarch Empowering Visibility in Women 50+ 💻 Founder 🥊 Boxer 📖 Author 🌎 World Traveler 💕 She/Her/Hers