HEAR IT FROM HONEY — IT’S GOOD ADVICE: WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU BECOME AN EMPTY NESTER

I recently received a question: “Honey, what do I do when I become an Empty Nester?”

My advice? Refill your nest with positive affirmations and visions of your goals for your new journey. Why? Because children grow up and move away. This is the natural progression of life. After eighteen years of raising a family, it is now your time to concentrate on yourself and your relationships. Your time of self-sacrifice is over, and the happiest empty nester makes herself a priority.

Positive Affirmations

Just think…the carpool days and 6:00 a.m. risings are over and so is your loss of Saturdays because of a hockey game or project due. If you have daughters, as I do, you wait up until the last one arrives home on a Saturday night but now you and your partner can slip into bed, together. When you become an empty nester free from parental responsibility, revel in it. Don’t deny it!

After each daughter left home, I dwelled on the same two things I thought I should have done differently. On a peaceful walk with my pooch, it finally hit me that it was time to stop because I knew I could not change what was, so it was pointless to berate myself. I used my ‘berating experience’ to teach my daughters to try not to be hard on themselves over things they cannot change. So, darling, stop reveling in regret.

Change Is Good

Don’t wish each passage of your life could stay the same. Your goal as a mom or dad is to raise your children to become self-sufficient adults who look forward to going out on their own. Your responsibility is to give them strong roots and the strong wings to fly off. This is the natural progression of life. Don’t fight it. Look forward to the next passage.

Fill Your Nest With Interests

In the beginning, I was so sad and worried and lonesome. I was worried about their wellbeing and I waited for their calls. I got upset when they promised a call and the phone did not ring. And, I wanted to interfere when I knew their decision could have been better. I wanted to shop with them, laugh with them, help them, plan parties for them, dry away a tear, do a project with them, climb into bed with them and talk before they fell asleep, help them pick out their dress for the prom, share secrets and on and on. Darling, I wanted to be with them!

But one day, I stopped. Why? Because feeling sad only made things worse. So I picked myself up and met my next journey head-on with great anticipation. I have been journeying and journaling ever since! And, I am a happy empty nester because I packed my nest with my interests, my pooch, my husband, my travels, my curiosities, my relationships, and always left open space for my daughters. Fill your nest with your dreams and turn them into reality. Be positive.

Make Yourself Your Priority

It is your time to cherish the you in you. Look after your physical health and pay attention to your emotional and social needs on your new journey. Discover new hobbies; travel the USA and the world (a train or a cruise), reach out to old friends and join groups that pique your fancy to make new friends, stay fit and take boxing lessons for strength and balance, do a remodel in your home and design a nook of your own, downsize, plant an outdoor or indoor garden, but first and foremost, if you have a partner, share your life together. Nothing is more important than love. That is the greatest joy of becoming an empty nester.

Welcome A New Chapter As An Empty Nester

The empty-nester syndrome is not a clinical condition. It is a natural and normal event in a mother’s life. It is a combination of several mixed emotions compiled on a mom. It is a sad time and it is a happy time. As well, it is a lonely time. It is a time for new connections and to welcome a new chapter and journey. So, when the time comes, let your children leave the nest and fly. It is a passage in a mother’s life she cannot escape.

Do you have an empty nest or will you be an empty nester anytime soon? Please let us know in the comments at the bottom of this page. We want to hear from you! As well, if you have a question you’d like for me to answer, please email info@honeygood.com. I would love to answer you!